Handfasting

Getting ready for the wedding! I really am sick of the unity candle, and my sister already did the sand ceremony, and if someone else that I know did it at their wedding, I don't want to do it at mine.  Different Bride.  That's me. 

"Jumping the Broom" is an African-American tradition from before the emancipation proclamation, but I wasn't really sure if I wanted to do it because I am not African-American, nor were my ancestors enslaved nor forced to create their own marriage ceremony out of thin air because they were prohibited from traditional legal ceremonies.   I thought it might be weird if I did it too since I did not share this past.  But then I remembered. . . oh, yeah, wait, I AM weird.  So I decided to jump right in to that tradition. (pun intended)

But it got the teacher in me thinking about what I could do to incorporate things from the heritage of BOTH of us, and use it as a "lesson" to our guests about our two different cultures.  (I PROMISE NOT TO MAKE THE GUESTS FILL OUT A COMPARE AND CONTRAST WORKSHEET, maybe...)

 I saw "Irish handfasting" on Pinterest, and thought that would be a good idea.  I did a little research and found that it is an ancient Irish custom that pre-dates the church in Ireland, but that the symbolism was so great for marriage that the church often kept it as part of wedding ceremonies, and "Christianized" it.  The Irish hand-fasting tradition is the origin of the term "tying the know."  Great!  I love etymology! 

(Click on the picture to read someone else's blog about it)


I learned in my research that the Irish tradition usually uses 13 different ribbons, each one a different color, and the colors each mean something different. 

(Click the picture to see what the colors mean)

I was thinking of doing that but I thought trying to tie 13 strands at once might be a little tricky.  Then, I found this verse that says "A chord of three strands is not easily broken"  Well, isn't that convenient?! 

I liked the idea of our hands being tied during the vows.  The tie is supposed to be loose enough so that you can slip out of it in order to exchange the rings.  (I guess rings are okay since we can not walk around tied together with cords.)

Then, I needed to add the words into the wedding ceremony.  So I wrote a little script for the pastor, incorporating all my ideas.

Here it is (below) What do you think?

Hand-Fasting

"Tehran and Kristen have chosen to participate in a couple of wedding traditions that honor their different heritage.  One of these traditions, from the bride’s Irish heritage is the ancient Celtic and Irish tradition of hand-fasting.  In pre-Christian Ireland and the times of the early church, it was commonly the way that couples were “married” before the church became involved with weddings.  This ceremony of hand-fasting is in fact the origin of the term 'tying the knot.'”

"Will the bride and groom please cross and hold each other’s hands"

(officiant wraps the chords around the hands and ties a visible knot at the bottom)

"The couple’s hands are tied with a cord of three strands to represent the bride, the groom, and God.   They were inspired by this passage of scripture: "

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

(Prayer)

Now we the bride and groom will exchange their vows.  (Chords are not removed until AFTER the vows)

He he, I love the one about lie down and keep warm- perfect for Chicago winters.  Now I have to write a little ditty for jumping the broom...